


The W-Word

by A_Graph_You_Look_At



Series: Learning Curve [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Discussions of Oppression, Racism, not quite canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 20:32:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11089383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Graph_You_Look_At/pseuds/A_Graph_You_Look_At
Summary: “Alexander, I’ve long since accepted what I am as well as who I am.  Just as I have accepted that many will only see what I am rather than who I am.  There’s nothing I can do about it.”  Magnus lounges with his back pressed against Alec’s chest, wine glass in hand, and gestures airily, like the subject isn’t a heavy one.  “It doesn’t bother me.”-This is the first in a series that will explore both overt and covert forms of racism in the Shadow World mostly through the eyes of Alec Lightwood.  I welcome suggestions and discussions in comments and PMs.





	The W-Word

**Author's Note:**

> the referenced gill-bearing warlock is not a reference to Madzie; I wrote this before she appeared on the show, so this particular piece could feasibly take place in late 2A, but a 2A without Madzie (the Darkest AU). 
> 
> Also- this is just the first of series called Learning Curve in which Alec Learns Some Things. So he's not perfect, and some of his initial instincts are going to be Not Great. Hopefully not Horrible, but often not Great.

 

As Alec starts to spend more time with Magnus, in both business and personal capacities, he starts to notice certain things.  Like how, when Maryse deigns to talk to him, she always refers to him as Warlock Bane, leaving out Magnus’ proper title and putting a far too intentional pause between “warlock” and “Bane”.  Like when they go out to eat at downworld joint and Magnus stiffens near imperceptibly as the owner cheerily greets him with a warm “too lazy to conjure up dinner yourself, eh?”  Alec has seen Magnus face off against Circle members with fury in his eyes, knock them on their asses after they sneered “warlock” at him like an insult.  But it’s when Magnus’ smile hardens just a little as Clary playfully teases him, “Bring it on, Warlock” that Alec decides to ask him about it.

\--

“Alexander, I’ve long since accepted what I am as well as who I am.  Just as I have accepted that many will only see _what_ I am rather than _who_ I am.  There’s nothing I can do about it.”  Magnus lounges with his back pressed against Alec’s chest, wine glass in hand, and gestures airily, like the subject isn’t a heavy one.  “It doesn’t bother me.”

 

_But it does_ , Alec doesn’t say.  There’s silence for a moment, punctuated only by the sharp tap of Magnus’ rings against his glass.  Magnus heaves a sigh and launches into some story or anecdote or memory, but Alec is only half listening. Alec doesn’t fully understand what this exchange means.  He wants to.

\--

Soon, Alec starts seeing it everywhere.  Or rather, hearing it.  “Warlock.”  That word, thrown around the institute and the downworld so casually yet so distantly.  

 

“We found a warlock on Long Island selling fae drugs.  Took her in pretty easily.”

 

“Saw a warlock with the prettiest Mark the other day!  Lilac skin; so exotic!”

 

“Never trust a warlock; the older they get, the sneakier they become.”

 

“If I were a warlock with that mark, I would break every mirror I came across-”  

 

Alec’s eyes snap up at the faint laughter coming from the console behind him, and something in him snaps too.  He turns to see a couple of techs giggling at a picture on one of their displays: an adolescent warlock with iridescent green scales covering his cheekbones like a smattering of freckles and peeking out from the edges of his hairline.  Gills sat just beneath his ears.  Alec’s immediate reaction to the picture is just the word “warlock”, flashing in his head like a warning.  But he shoves it down, forcing himself to think “person” instead.  

 

Because he’s seeing now that that’s the common thread.  Warlocks aren’t seen as people.  Not by Shadowhunters, not by other downworlders, not by themselves.  And Alec understands why Magnus says it doesn’t bother him but still reacts every time.  Alec understands that it _doesn’t_ bother Magnus, not the majority of him.  Magnus has had 300 years to accept what and who he is, just like he said.  But that means that, _before_ he had accepted what and who he is, Magnus didn’t see himself as a person.  And Alec has never felt more empty.

 

The techs are still giggling but Alec doesn’t know what to say to make them stop.  He doesn’t know how to make them see, to make them understand what he just realized.  Turns out, he doesn’t have to say anything.  They must sense him looking, because one glances over her shoulder and sobers immediately.  She hits her companion to get them back to work, embarrassed at being caught.  It doesn’t feel like enough, but Alec doesn’t know to fix it.  

\--

“I appreciate you as a person,” Alec breathes against Magnus’ cheek after he kisses him hello.  He feels Magnus laugh in his arms.

“An odd greeting, but I’ll take it.”  

 

Alec wraps his arms around Magnus and pulls him into a tight hug, suddenly needing to surround Magnus, to protect him.  He feels Magnus’ confusion before he sees it as Magnus pushes him back just enough to look at his face.  It’s like Magnus is asking a question, but the only answer Alec can provide is,

 

“I just felt like it needed to be said.  That I appreciate you.  As a person.”  

 

Alec doesn’t fully understand, but he thinks he’s beginning to.  

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and PMs welcome


End file.
